Belief Before Proof

It’s finally here! The sun is shining, the holidays are behind us, and a brand new year is in front of us! Happy 2015 to all of you! There’s so much promise that lies ahead!

….Okay, if I’m being completely honest with you, my new year did not begin that brightly. Like, at all. I celebrated New Year’s Eve by going to bed before 11:00 PM (partly because I wanted to, and partly because I was too busy to make any plans beforehand), I woke up the next day to find that the cat had used the floor of my closet as a litter box, it rained non-stop, and Alabama lost to Ohio State in the playoff. Plus there was the inevitable reminder that continued to reoccur all day (between the billions of engagement announcements and job hiring announcements and other accomplishments featured on every form of social media possible), that I’m 24, jobless, and living at home with my parents. Yeaaaah, not much of it was promising at all.

I got really sarcastic on New Year's Eve. This was my Instagram for the world to see.

I got really sarcastic on New Year’s Eve. This was my Instagram for all the world to see.

Fortunately, what we do on New Year’s Eve/Day, has absolutely no indication of what the rest of the year will look like. January 1–and 2 and 3–, 2015 was simply a day that the Enemy kept coming up behind me and poking me in the side incessantly. It doesn’t mean anything else.

I’m not going to lie to you, for those three days I was extremely bored and pretty annoyed. I couldn’t stop hashing over the fact that I’ve been waiting so long for the Lord to open up the door and me enter the next chapter of my life with a strong sense of purpose, and it kept making me more frustrated and more frustrated. So dumb, I know. Don’t worry, I’m over it now. But here’s why.

I’ve told y’all about the She Reads Truth site on here before, and if you don’t remember surely you’ve heard about it from someone else or at least seen it on Instagram. If not, visit it here. Out of all the modern day apps and junk, this one is actually worth your data usage. Currently, they are doing a study on the book of John.

This is going to sound so hipster, but John has been my favorite book of the Gospel since about middle school. Having grown up in a Catholic school, we learned a lot of history about the books of the Bible and what we learned about John was so unique. John was Jesus’ BFF… I mean obviously all the disciples (minus Judas) were, but John stayed awake the longest in the Garden of Gethsemane. John saw and wrote the book of Revelation. John was the only disciple to die of natural causes, not because he was executed. But beyond all that, the way the book was written was much different than any of the other books of the Gospel. Some find him to be cryptic at times, but he offers a perspective that’s really insightful. He focuses on details and stories that the other Gospels do not. I could go on and on (clearly).

I haven’t done a study specifically on John’s Gospel in a really long time, but I’m so excited to be doing it now. In the middle of all my icky gloom and doom, I began this study and started to notice a pattern that I guess I’ve never really focused on quite so much before. You see, John is all about “the point” that Jesus was communicating. The physical details don’t matter to him, but the truth that Jesus preached and lived out does. And in the first 4 chapters of John, I couldn’t help but notice how often Jesus would call out that what people were looking for was proof (often proof showed through those worldly details that don’t matter like wine or water at a wedding) so that they could believe. But He always would point them in a different direction, by basically responding with 1. “You thought that was cool? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet” and most importantly 2. that our faith doesn’t need proof in order for us to believe, we can just trust Him.

Now, don’t worry, I know your probably like “what is she saying right now?” First of all, I’m not under any circumstances condemning or even criticizing faith that comes out of seeing or experiencing “proof”. Second of all, it’s more like this.

Our world can be so misconstrued sometimes. Very often, we have to keep our hearts guarded so that we don’t get hurt or disappointed and one way to do that is to wait for people to prove themselves to us. It happens in so many relationships and walks of life, and it’s a plan that works when we’re learning how to trust people. That can apply to girls trusting guys before they date them, bosses trusting employees before they give them bigger responsibilities, parents trusting their children before they let them drive, and so on.

But one of the wonderful things about Jesus is that we don’t have to go through that process. We can just trust Him with our whole hearts, souls, and lives, and know that we can trust Him without needing proof first.

I know this sounds really lofty or out in left field. I’m not trying to be complicated or smart or whatever, but in realizing that point that’s written about in John, it reminded me that I’m entirely too worried about silly details that are so magnified by the world, but don’t really matter. I’ve been waiting for God to open up this amazing door to a job almost like I’ve been waiting for Him to prove to me that He has a plan for me, and that’s not fair to Him. Not when we’re talking about a loving relationship like the one we’re supposed to have with Christ. It’s like saying to my mom, “I’ll wait for you to buy me new earrings and then I’ll know you love me”. Not even remotely correct, because she does even greater things for me than buy me things, and I know she loves me without new earrings anyway. With Jesus, that’s not even remotely correct again, because He works greater miracles than that all the time, and I know He loves me. I mean, He lived a spotless life and gave it over just for mine.

How wonderful is it that we can just trust Him? It’s weird to comprehend because of the world we live in. It’s a little bit like the concept of time. God is not bound by time, and heaven doesn’t run on a clock. But we can’t imagine life without time. Likewise, trust after proof is a concept we’ve grown up around so we can’t fathom relationships without it. But unlike being bound by time while we’re on earth, it’s something that we get to experience on this earth just by being in a relationship with Him.

So whether it’s a job, or finding the one that you’re supposed to marry, or getting a promotion, or whatever is your looking for proof that He loves you or cares about you… remember that it’s not about that. It’s about being in a relationship with Him. Trust Him before He works the miracle, cause the miracles that follow after that are even bigger and more important anyway!

The Lord is uncovering parts of my heart everyday, that I don’t even realize I’m living with. It’s like those people who have bullets lodged in their body and don’t know about it until they go through a metal detector at TSA. I’ve always been open about how much I trust the Lord, but once again, He’s shed His light on the dark parts of my heart and now I’m learning about a whole new aspect of this trust thing. Hopefully, this will be the year where I can learn to be completely content with His ways and learn how to trust Him even more 🙂

Have a great week y’all,



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