End of the Tracks

Well, here I am everyone! My Masters degree has been obtained, and I am done with institutionalized education forever! (Barring the Lord calls me to get another degree… but for now, I’m done). Now what?

Oh, the question of the year. (Or really, past two years of my life)…. So I don’t have a concrete answer for you. I am, in fact, jobless. But I just graduated a few days ago, so gimme a break.

But what do you want to do? Hmmm, still can’t answer that question for ya. See, here’s my dilemma. Since high school I have been praying “Lord where do you want me?” From age 14 until about age 17, I was willing but fearful that He wanted me on the mission field. Like, another country kind of mission field. After so much prayer and with plenty of time to spare, the Lord dealt with my fear and soon after told me that my mission field was good ole home. The U.S. Cool. Following the path laid before me, I figured that He wanted me in politics. (Side note: I also super enjoyed (still enjoy) politics. It’s just something I understand and think is fun. And sometimes it can be used for the greater good).

Fast forward to junior year of college, and I find out that He didn’t want me in law school. So I proceeded with communications, and instead of leading me to DC, He lead me to grad school. Now, I’m not saying that He doesn’t want me in politics, but things are certainly not going the way that I imagined them. And this time, there is no clear path laid before me. I literally feel like a train in the 1890’s that has reached the end of the tracks and there aren’t any new ones that have been built yet. So I’m just sitting stock still.

What do I want to do? Above all I just want to be in a place where I can walk with Jesus daily, the Spirit is present, and the Lord can move. I figure, you spend a majority of the day at your job. Regardless of what the actual duties are, that should be the main goal. I still have yet to figure out what job that is.

Well why don’t you just start applying to random jobs and see what happens? Look, I know that the Lord can protect you from things and close doors and so forth, but I also know that I have been created for a specific purpose. I don’t want to get locked into a job and then when the real deal opens up, be unavailable to go just because I was antsy. Not to mention, I haven’t felt any conviction at all that I need to move forward with just clicking around on LinkedIn. In fact, I’ve felt the exact opposite. And it isn’t just fear.

For now, it is seriously the weirdest thing in the world to have NO OBLIGATIONS whatsoever. My lovely girlies from school are busy and have moved, so not many people to hang out with. I wake up, I work out at some point during the day, and I try to get at least a couple things done. I haven’t been this available since before I started high school. I have wished for this for so long, but I already am beginning to be a little bored.

Right now I’m reading 3 Psalms a day and trying to write in my journal some. (My ugliest confession is how little time I spend reading the Bible. It’s terrible. I know better.) But what I have been learning about is how 1. the Lord just wants me. He wants my thanksgiving and praise and He wants to hear it daily. So as hard as it may be, I’m going to give Him my best thanksgiving and praise. 2. It’s not about the destination, but the journey. (Sounds so, Miley Cyrus “The Climb” and I’m sorry, but it’s true). Even though He is silent right now, I know that He is working. And all of this stillness is just making room for His works and greater glory.

I should be rejoicing because with this little to do. Now God has a wide open opportunity to work something big. And that is AWESOME. So as much as the world says “you need a job”, “don’t wait, just apply and do something”, I am going to keep on praying and stay back with Jesus. When He moves, I’ll move. When doors are shut, I won’t try to open them back up. And above all I’m just gonna keep on lovin’ Him.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a little plan outlined. I’m not NOT going to work. I’m not lazy. I’m just stopped for the time being.

I know that my posts are beginning to seem a little redundant. But part of this is for me, reminding myself, that My God is the God of salvation, love, miracles, and is the Creator of the Universe. He brings all things together for His good and He loves us. Nothing is impossible for Him, so you, me, and everyone else in this world, are going to be okay. Even when the world is falling apart and we are unemployed with nothing to do.

So what’s the point behind this post?

Well, for the next few weeks I am going to be praying and seeking some sort of employment. In the meantime, I’m going to read, catch up on a few projects, reorganize my room, and just sit in the presence of the Lord. If He has me stopped, that means He is stopped here too, so I am going to BE here. But I will still have time on my hands.

So if any of you lovely people have any prayer requests, please let me know. I have so much time to pray now! If y’all have any fab books to read, lemme know. I’m going to be reading quite a lot. And finally, if you’re in Tuscaloosa and want to visit, call me! I have a wide open schedule now.

I might start posting recipes, projects, revelations, who knows. The possibilities are endless!

Sittn’ still and doin’ alright,



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